My Band's History

  My band was formed almost 7 years ago. We originally had a female singer, Ben and I on guitar, Aiden on bass and a friend named Hilton on drums. (you can hear our horrible old crap here www.4shared.com/mp3/1_fUc3RS/oldschool_AE.html and here http://www.4shared.com/mp3/lGR9wMLF/Is_beauty_what_i_see.html)

  We weren’t getting the sound we wanted, so we kicked the girl out about 6 months in. Ben became singer, Aiden and I on guitar, Sonny on bass and Hilton on drums. Having a band in a strict Catholic boarding school was nowhere near allowed, and we could get suspended for “unholy” acts. With help from a very supportive music teacher, we took instruments into the forest behind our school to practice. Every night we would fashion ropes out of old uniforms and sneak out of our rooms to practice.

  My music teacher got us our first gig in a small bar in Levice, Slovakia. It was impossible to just walk out of boarding school, so the morning of the gig we all swallowed laundry detergent until we threw up. We told our dorm supervisor that we had bad chicken the night before, and he let us stay in bed sick. As soon as we were sure the floor was empty, we snuck out the windows and took the 3 hour walk through the forest to the gig.

  Our first show went incredibly well, despite us being covered in leaves and soaking wet. We were booked on the spot for 3 more shows at the same venue. We continued our routine of getting sick and sneaking out of windows. The word quickly spread and we were booked for more venues. After our tenth show we were approached and asked if we were interested in a manager. We said yes, and signed a ten year contract with my current manager, David, who to our delight was managing some decent bands.

The day before one of our shows Ben was, weirdly enough, hit in the throat with a frisby during our gym class. Desperate to not miss a show, we switched places. My manager thought my voice fit our sound better, so I took the place as singer permanently, and Ben as guitarist.

  We scraped up the money we made from our small shows and booked time in a studio to record a 3 song demo. This would take about 6 hours; of course we couldn’t leave boarding school for that long. My music teacher decided to help us out by having a music field trip that day. The rest of the class went to an opera house while we went to the recording studio.

  My manager sent our demo to 5 independent record labels. We got called back by 4, choosing to sign a contract with a UK based company. After getting signed we had to work harder than ever before. The competition was greatly increased; the studio would rather work with their well known bands than some random unknown band. Everyone is depending on you to become the new “thing”. It doesn’t matter if a gig goes badly when you’re unsigned, but a bad gig to a newly signed band can mean never having a show again. We were asked to improve our previous 3 songs and create 2 new ones. In one month. We were to re-record our previous songs in a studio owned by the label, create a low cost music video (with our money) and be an opening act for a semi well known band. In boarding school this was nearly impossible. Our manager leant us the money to fly out to the UK to record. We snuck out at night to go to the airport. My boarding school quickly found out where we went, and we were expelled. To us, it didn’t matter. This is what we wanted. We recorded our EP, and had a few friends we had met previously record a ghetto ass music video for us. 

  Leaving for tour was the hardest part. It was 2 months long, 127 shows in Scotland and Britain, and we were 15 year old orphans in abusive safe homes. We promised our guardians all the money we made. I wasn’t allowed to go, but I went anyways. I don’t even think they noticed that I was gone. 

  At this point we didn’t have a tour bus and all had to live in a small van along with our manager. We took turns sitting in the trunk of the van so there was room. We ate junk food out of gas stations. We played small towns; some we didn’t even know existed. Every single night we had 2 or even 3 shows, rushing to get to each. We didn’t shower once. We smelled, we were exhausted, we were hungry. We spent every hour not on stage writing and practicing, doing online school whenever we could. My manager probably wanted to kill us. It was worth it though, because by the end of the tour we had over 30,000 plays on YouTube, which is beyond amazing for a new band. We were ordered to make a full length album within the year, this time we didn’t have to pay for recording time. 

  Over the summer none of us saw each other, as we all lived in different countries. Ben wrote 10 songs, I wrote the other 10. I wasn’t allowed paper or pencils in my safe home, so grossly enough, I wrote most of my songs in blood on the inside of my shirts during the night. 

  We entered a new school in the UK, luckily enough close to our record label, close enough that we could sneak out during the night to attend meetings. That year we came out with our first album, our first REAL music video and we were sent on our second 2 month long tour, then on a 3 month tour, opening for another band again. Of course, we got expelled a second time. Our second music video hit 300,000 views within 3 months. 

  Everything really started happening when I turned 19. We were put on a 5 month tour throughout Europe. A rented TOUR BUS was given to us for this time. We were no longer the opening band, we had a split show with another band, and a band opened for us. We switched drummers, from Hilton to Matt Kilroy. We had about 1000-2000 people attend every show. We made 3 new videos, one hitting over one million views. We won 2 awards, appeared in 6 magazines and did 36 interviews. 

  Tour life isn’t what you expect it to be. It isn’t glamorous. The bus was incredibly small. I doubt 5 people could fit comfortably in it. It wasn’t just the 5 of us in the bus. It was us, our manager, a driver, our publicist, a tour photographer, a makeup artist and an associate. That’s 11 people. For half of it we had to share the bus with another band...16 people. We had 8 bunks. There was another bus specifically for equipment tech and others. This time we actually had a fridge, but it oddly turned off as soon as we started driving. We ate rotting food for 5 months. There was no shower. We were lucky to shower once a week, and let me tell you after being on stage for 2 hours, you’re soaking wet in your own sweat. It’s motherfucking disgusting. Once, to get rid of the smell Aiden though it would be a good idea to shave his pubes...in a bumpy bus. It ended in stitches. You can’t sleep on a tour bus, the bunks are about as comfortable as a plank of wood and every bump on the road is emphasized like you wouldn’t believe. Every time we went around a corner, I would fall out of my bunk.
First  bus

  The girls. The girls are fucking crazy on tour. After every concert we stood out and spent half an hour meeting fans. The girls would throw themselves at us, willing to do anything. Every time someone would have sex on the bus we would hear EVERYTHING. If you were in any of the surrounding, you would FEEL the movements. Not…attractive.

  Another part of being on tour is the interviews and the appearances. When you sign a contract, you lose yourself. You’re given an image. It’s literally written in the contract. For example, Aiden HAS to be an asshole and an idiot, he isn’t allowed to be serious, he has to be funny all the time, he can’t show intelligence. He has to be mean to everyone. I have to be charming and awkward. If you know anything about me…you know I'm not charming at all. I have to be weirdly friendly and flirty to every interviewer. I have to stutter and laugh while answering shit. It’s written in my contract. I was taught to act a certain way. Sonny’s the shy one, he isn’t allowed to talk other than one or two words, if he’s asked a question, we answer for him. He’s okay with that, because in general that’s actually the way Sonny is. Matt has to be a douche, he has to be mean. Ben and I used to be the ones that would talk most in interviews, now it’s Aiden and I, as he’s been deemed more interesting. We’re given an outline about what they’re going to ask us before every interview, and my manager tells us what we can and can’t say.

  Our latest album was released November 18th, 2011, to a new label...pretty much my dream label. Two music videos have been released for it. It made top 100 on 9 charts. We hit 2 million views on one video, 1 million on the rest. Our sound changed from almost metalcore to post-hardcore, less screaming and more of a smooth sound. Absolutely everything started to change. I actually started getting noticed in public...often. Tour started in March, and is supposed to end in November...we don't actually know yet. In just 2 months we've been on television 13 times, had 31 radio interviews, 75 internet interviews. We have 12 bunks this time, and 16 people sharing the bus with us. We generally only do about 5 or 6 shows a week, which is a blessing, because I can actually sleep. We're on stage for about 2 hours, sometimes only one. On stage it's about 40°C because of the lights, and we're put in skin tight clothes that don't help at all. I've had the weirdest shit thrown at me while on stage, underwear, bibles...toothpaste.
Second bus

  As much as I complain about never being able to shower, Aiden, not sleeping or even being on stage in general I couldn’t see myself doing anything else. I’m not someone who can stay put for more than a month and I guess in a way, this is a way to prevent myself from growing up. I can be as stupid as I want and it seems perfectly normal.

  Being in a band means absolutely no privacy, and I value my privacy greatly…which probably sounds odd considering this and my last post.

I’ve had my ConnorKH accounts for 4 years, and the whole time I’ve been almost completely anonymous. But why?

The main reason is because I’m completely terrified it will get out that I’m gay. If people found out that I’m gay it could completely ruin my career. I guarantee you I would my record label would cancel our contract. It would no longer be about the music, my band would be “the band with the gay singer”. I don’t want that. I haven’t even told my friends that I’m gay, I came out to my closest friends last year and I’m not willing to go any farther than that. I’m not interested in being the gay friend, I don’t want to lose my friends or be treated differently than everyone else.

 My ConnorKH accounts are the one place I can actually be myself without risking anything. I have absolutely no friends I can talk about my boyfriend with. I have to pretend I like girls. I’m being completely fake around them and it sucks

The audience  10 minutes before we went on, April 28th.